Tales from the 95008.1

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Adam's Cottage
This story happened about 3 years ago to my friend Adam at his
cottage. His cottage is in a small town called Waubeshene (im not
sure how it's spelled), which has like 200 people and maybe 3 last
names in the phone book (if you know what i mean). Anyways, the
town kids don't like the cottagers much because the cottagers
aren't inbread rednecks. So adam had just rode his bike to the store
to get some supplies to come to my cottage with (gummi bears and
pepsi), and he was on his way back home. On the way he passed a
group of town kids sitting on a bench beside the road. They yelled a
couple things at Adam in their half-baked southern drawl (ok, i might
have taken some liberties with the recounting of this tale). So, being
the genius that he is; adam said a few choice words back to this
gang of older kids. The kids either didn't like what Adam had said,
or they couldn't understand the big words Adam tends to use in
conversation, such ass-chowder. So one of them stood up and yelled Ã¢â‚¬Å“get him!Ã¢â‚¬Â. As he did this a giant fat kid got up off the bench and gave chase. Now, as we all know, a normal human being on a bike should be able to out run a fat redneck. But no, not adam. So the fat kid cought up to him on a hill and kicked his bike over, crushing his supply of pepsi. So there was adam; under his bike, covered in pepsi, and being kicked by a bunch of inbread yokels. They eventually left when one of their momÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s drove by and told them to come for supper. And adam was left to scrape up his gummi bears and what was left of his pride off the hot waubeshene gravel.

Is james, infact, insane? i think this little rant he made will answer any doubts you previously had.
As i sit here staring at my shitty ass word processing device wondering what I should..write about,
my word processing device being Notepad of course, author's choice among 4 out of 5 neurosurgeons,
i have decided to write to you a little artice of clothing that you may find interesitng. this
article is being written without the use of my pinky finger or backspace key!!! magnivicent huh?

Anyways, i was about tg to go and talk about something which as .. after writing that amanzing intro
ahas illuded my mind....I think it was about my 4 hour adventure backf from bramtpon invovlving mixsiis
missing many busses...but as you can see i am getting drunker and drunker as writing this si becoming
difficult

so since i just pressed enter twoce at the wrong time i will continue talking about warrens message
board device. It is a very sueful indeed vice. By that sentence i meant it is a very usefuldevice indeed
f course.

So far I have many paragraohs....Continuing on i am a very boring person...Naubg...Mainly because i sit
in my basement for 26 hours of a 32 hour day and eithe rspin ro sit on my computer....as you may
or many yn
not know i am trying to become a "jungle dj" ... i will send tapes to you if you request them at a char
og 6$ because tapes are very expensive. Wait no...6$ is too much, 3$....yes! If you show me this
article i will let you pay me so you can listen to 90 minutes of the best fucking jungle ever.
oh shit i used my pinky on the enter key

there we go
um

Remember back in like 91 when the united states attacked iraq and i was watching Ninja turtles the
whole time"? Yeah those were the days...of the NINJA TURTLES!!! What ever happened to the,m?? I have
two of their video games of for ORIGNLA NINTENDO!!!!!! ORIGINAL NINTENDO CAN YOU LE...BELEIVE IT? is
s
s...fuck...i seem to keep pressing s for some reason...ok

ok ok ok...im gonna rap up this Hullapalooza of stupidity...err...is thre a hullapalooza?

thres a Hullaballoo and a ...w hat was that concert a couple years ago? Where people sild in the mod?

anyway now im pissed off cause i was on mplayer and NO ONE on mplayer likes junlge and fuckin 13 year
old little bitch ass girls who think they're hot shit cause they're a "big teenager" are fucking
annoying as shit...F...IF ANY 13 YRAR OLD GIRS ARE READING THIS FUCK YOU!!!

ok, im done.

James's crazy rant about Mplayer is on his site
click here

If you want to see some real rants, go here:
pam's page